Yesterday, I told you about Albert, who is a magician.
Today, I will tell you about why I don't get invited to parties more than once. I mean, I *do*, but it's often with great reticence.
So I was at Sexy Woman and Babe's house for a shindig. They just bought a new house for their family, which now includes a very cute baby. So Sexy Woman and Babe were hosting one of those parties where they have many different guests from many different groups, and sometimes these things don't go well, with one group of friends sitting in the kitchen and the other group of friends sitting in the garage, and ne'er the twain shall meet. But SW and B are very good at having friends, and we were all in the living room getting along just fine.
Then Sexy Woman, who is a teacher, relates the fact that the 'new thing' for kids at her school to do is to drink hand sanitizer. So folks are talking about how terrible that is. And then, Yours Truly, who has no real filter between thought and speech, says "it's not so bad if you make Jell-O™ shooters out of it". And there's one of those nervous laughs that runs through the room, and people do the party equivalent of backing slowly away with alarmed looks on their faces. So what does cenobyte do? Does cenobyte attempt to backtrack and explain herself?
No. She does not. She begins to giggle uncontrollably. Then her friend says "when you come over to my house, I'll keep your Jell-O™ separate from the stuff I feed my kids."
And then cenobyte says "But then they won't have Aloe breath."
Yeah.
Well.
*I* thought it was funny.
Today, I will tell you about why I don't get invited to parties more than once. I mean, I *do*, but it's often with great reticence.
So I was at Sexy Woman and Babe's house for a shindig. They just bought a new house for their family, which now includes a very cute baby. So Sexy Woman and Babe were hosting one of those parties where they have many different guests from many different groups, and sometimes these things don't go well, with one group of friends sitting in the kitchen and the other group of friends sitting in the garage, and ne'er the twain shall meet. But SW and B are very good at having friends, and we were all in the living room getting along just fine.
Then Sexy Woman, who is a teacher, relates the fact that the 'new thing' for kids at her school to do is to drink hand sanitizer. So folks are talking about how terrible that is. And then, Yours Truly, who has no real filter between thought and speech, says "it's not so bad if you make Jell-O™ shooters out of it". And there's one of those nervous laughs that runs through the room, and people do the party equivalent of backing slowly away with alarmed looks on their faces. So what does cenobyte do? Does cenobyte attempt to backtrack and explain herself?
No. She does not. She begins to giggle uncontrollably. Then her friend says "when you come over to my house, I'll keep your Jell-O™ separate from the stuff I feed my kids."
And then cenobyte says "But then they won't have Aloe breath."
Yeah.
Well.
*I* thought it was funny.
Labels: aloe breath, socially inappropriate
8 Comments:
And it's for those comments alone that I will always invite you to my parties Ceno. That's if I ever can afford to own a place worth having a party in.
Which just goes to show that being a Sexy Woman just doesn't guarantee a sense of humour. Which in poll after poll is chosen as the more desireable quality.
I appreciate the humour. Certainly appeals to me.
But I am compelled to ask what Aloe taste like. I imagine it would be kinda like parsley, but I really don't know. I tend to think that parsley, or Aloe Jello would be kinda like those jello salads some people seem to like, and I tend to dislike.
Perhaps there are berry flavoured hand sanitizers.
Aloe doesn't really taste like much. It's a cactus. Tastes kinda like Play Doh.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, my party method included:
-Standing in a corner
-Talking to no more than one person at a time
-While playing Rock Band, spending the entirety of every song scowling at the screen and making frustrated exclamations when I screwed up
-Cursing loudly at the screen when our fictional band was offered a fictional deal by MTV
I thought it was awfully funny.
Sexy Woman thought it was funny, too, but was more concerned that all the rest of her guests knew what an asshole cenobyte is.
i am o-fish-ally sending a standing offer to come to ANY and ALL of my house parties forever. remember that i rarely have any, but when i do you are SO invited. my friends are all freaky artists, musicians and a few metal heads and moms. we drink..but we don't do drugs..there just is so many brain cells and we try to preserve what we can.
but your sense of humor is exactly like ours.
i make it out to sound like i have alot of friends, i don't. but the ones i do have are freaky like me.
standing order. thats an order.
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