centre of the universe - the dreaming: Rotten

09/23/2005: "Rotten" So Mike and I thought the new picture was sick, yet hilarious. Sometimes it pays to hire a marketer/designer who's either out of the loop or just not all there.

Once we hired a designer to help us with a marketing campaign we were doing. Her design was something scab coloured that looked like it was sporting a large yellow woody. Yes, I said woody. We didn't go with that design, although I'm wondering now if maybe it would have done better than the one we did choose that was neither scab-coloured nor phallic in any way.

I remember the advertisement for [insert popular brand of MSG-loaded seafood "chowdah" here]. The visual was of a foggy shoreline. Just looked cold. Zoom in to a young kid shivering on the beach. Out of the mist appears a "weathered old salt in Sou'wester and cable-knit sweater".

"Arrrrr ye cold, Jimmy?" he asks in a gruff (but jovial) voice.

The poor kid shivers in response.

"Then come up to me lighthouse, and I'll fill yer cheeks with cream!" The old salt says, clapping young Jimmy on the shoulder.

I don't know who those marketers were, but they clearly knew nothing about buggery. Or the terms associated with it. Anyway, I thought I'd hallucinated the commercial, because I think it only aired once, until a friend of mine, completely unprompted by me, asked "has anyone else here ever seen that commercial with the old pervert on the beach?"

'how many can there be?' I asked myself, and then asked my friend, "what was it a commercial for?"

"Pedophelia, as far as I can tell," he replied. "Some wizened old sailor telling a poor frightened looking kid that he'd take him up to his house and fill his cheeks with cream. Iew."

I would give someone's left nut to have that commercial.

What are some of your favourite ill-thought-out adverts?

"You see that?" "New Duds"

7 Comments

RR , on Friday, 23rd September:

Oh so many. So very many.

"Pork. The ones you love." A variation on:
"Pork. The one you love." Giant billboards on Warman Rd in Saskatoon about 10 years ago. Someone barbeque-ing in the foreground with either one or several people in the background. Hoo-eey, that one still cracks me up!
And another is more of a visual. By the way, only you would find that graphic perverted at first site, cenobyte. So there's a picture of a set of lungs hanging from a bronchial tube. One lung is all uniform and has a "T" on it. The other lung is ragged looking and has a "B" on it, but the "B" has rips on the insides. And below reads, "CHECK IT OUT". And where is this printed.....?????
On a balloon. Nothing is more festive than TUBERCULOSIS. I have the balloon right next to me if you need proof. The volunteers at the info. table were confused but pleased to give me balloons.
O good golly. People are soooo silly.

cenobyte , on Friday, 23rd September:

Please, PLEASE send me a picture of that balloon.

Keith , on Saturday, 24th September:

A local commercial radio station has a recurring advertisement for a local jeweller.
"Because the look on her face when she opens the box is Priceless."
Never fails to make me snicker. (I have a sneaking suspicion that the guy who voices that line is very subtle with the double entendre)

cenobyte , on Sunday, 25th September:

I know that ad! It makes me giggle, too.

Smarty Pants , on Monday, 26th September:

The guy voicing that "box" line is...moi. Now, do I take Keith's statement as a compliment? Or a slap in the head? :-)
(And trust me - the writers laugh about that one too. But the client's happy and we haven't received complaints, sooo...)

Keith , on Monday, 26th September:

Intended as a compliment, SP. I enjoy a little creative subversion in radio ads.

Smarty Pants , on Tuesday, 27th September:

Haha - subversion. Aka "passive agressive"?

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