centre of the universe - the dreaming: Absenteeism

06/13/2008: "Absenteeism" cenobyte wishes to inform you that for the next four days inclusive, she will be in Toronto at Book Expo Canada. She will be rubbing elbows with some of the bookiest book folk in the country. And some of the bookiest book folk in North America. If I see Margaret Atwood's Longpen, I will tell it you say hello.

Today's non sequitir involves an Experience I had a while back. I was standing outside, in the downtown of the city I was in, smoking a cigarette in the early evening. I think I was waiting for someone. Anyway, a fellow approached me and asked to bum a smoke. I told him I hadn't any left (I really didn't have any left; they were hard times then), and he looked a little forlorn, so I apologised and gave him that waggly eyebrows look that means "move along, buster." So he said...and I must mention this was a complete stranger...never met the guy before in my life...so he said "well can you give me a drag of yours?"

And I looked at him in a way that meant, "What the hell is the matter with you?", but what I said was, in a Very Polite Voice, "No thank you."

He said, "Whut?"

And I said, "No thank you." Then I gave him the waggly eyebrow look again.

As he scoffed and huffed and spun on his heel to leave, he glowered at me and said, "It would have been really nice to have a drag of that."

And I squinted for a moment, and thought of all the things I *wanted* to say, and chose instead to say, "I bet."

And for a while after that, I felt terribly guilty for not sharing my cigarette with the fellow. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought...'I don't want anything in my mouth...or *close to my mouth* that has been in the mouth...or *close to the mouth* of someone I don't know at all. I wouldn't share a fork with Just Some Guy On The Street, and I wouldn't offer him a sip from my straw.' So I came to the conclusion, there in the dim light of the streetlamps in the downtown of the city, with the cool wind raising gooseflesh on my neck, I came to the conclusion: "Screw you, non-taxpayer. Buy your own damned cigarettes. Keep your mouthjuice to yourself."

But I didn't say that.

"Abstraction" "Actually, I quite like this"

distractions