06/19/2008: "Should you be in the way of asking" Please observe the following at all times:

Apostrophe's do not belong in sentence's where an attempt is being made to plurali'se noun's and verb's. Apostrophe's al'so do not belong in word's which naturally end in es's. Apostrophe's are 'singularly for the purpo'se of indicating that two word's have been 'shortened to one word, 'such a's in the following: "he think's hi's name denote's clevernes's". Oh wait. No, that i'sn't right. I *meant*:
"It is" -> it's
"he is" -> he's

Apo'strophe's are al'so u'sed to indicate po's'se's'sion:
"That bone belongs to the dog" -> That is the dog's bone.
"These underpants belong to Sharon" -> These are Sharon's underpants.
"The purple vibrator is owned by my mother" -> That is my mother's dildo.

Please. Please, please please please PLEASE stop the abuse. Apostrophe abuse directly leads to the death of more linguists than instructions pamphlets badly translated.

Also, the following phrases and words are no longer to be used, for any reason, at any time, in any place, at all:
"On that fateful day/night"
"Chillax"
"Ridonculous"
"at this point in time/at that point in time"

Thank you.

"This is the next day."       "After the fog lifts"

11 Comments

melistress , on Thursday, 19th June:

Chillax! I realize that the use of apostrophe's is getting ridonculous but at this point in time a lot of the children's are not being focused on the proper use of grammar in schools. On that fateful day when the teacher's realize the error of their ways' we can chillax and do a ridonculous amount of celebration.

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cenobyte , on Thursday, 19th June:

a) Now you must die.
b) It was no comment about "the state of edumacation in schools today", but more about how people ought to know better. It's no excuse if you weren't listening in grade three when this stuff was taught.

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melistress , on Thursday, 19th June:

I don't know about the school your little bubbies are going to but in my kids' school and in the school that the wife of my coworker is principal of, there is very little focus on grammar and proper spelling anymore. This is part of the problem. Too much focus on self esteem and coddling the little ones to the point that they think that the world should be a wonderful and happy place that caters to them when they get out of school.

I know you weren't commenting on the state of "edumacation" in schools today, but I am. The relaxed attitude on grammar and spelling really bothers me. And what happened to phonics?

And thank you for the lesson. I have a hard time remembering the correct use of its and it's. As one is a contraction and the other is possessive, I have a difficult time remembering which one gets to ignore the rules. :-)

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TUO , on Thursday, 19th June:

Grammar isn't congenital. You *won't* "know better" unless you are *taught* better. So yes, it's edumacation's fault. In the immortal words of Bob the Angry Flower "No! Wrong! Totally Wrong! Where did you learn this! Stop doing it!"

(As far as the "its/it's" thing, when you see "it's", replace it with "it is". If the sentence still makes sense, leave the apostrophe alone.)

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cenobyte , on Thursday, 19th June:

I disagree.

There are plenty of folks who didn't receive formal edumacation whose grammar skills are just fine. I'm pretty sure it's related to the amount that they read. And, for that matter, there are plenty of folks who've learned this stuff on their own.

And there are plenty of people who *have* received good formal education who simply didn't listen or didn't apply the knowledge. F'rinstance, I had an *excellent* grammar teacher in grade three, grade five, grade eight, and grade nine. Several people went to the same schools, with the same teachers, and not all of them know how to use an apostrophe correctly.

Sure, if you have good edumacation, chances are better that you'll learn this stuff, but you can't blame all of this idiocy on educators. At least, I can't. Or don't.

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Parmeisan , on Thursday, 19th June:

*nods* Yeah, I learned grammar, so how come no one else in my class knows it? It's not 'cause we didn't learn it! It's 'cause *they* didn't.

Not that there aren't maybe schools that couldn't do better.

Melistress (and cenobyte, tell me if I'm wrong here please): I don't think either of them breaks the rule? It seems like it does because you say "dog's bone" or "mother's dildo" (*grin*) but you don't say "my bone" or "your dildo"... the word "it", I believe, falls under the same category of word as your or my. I think. If I'm wrong, and I could be... well, it might still be a useful way to remember which one is which. The contractions *always* get the apostrophe.

(And cenobyte, I think your post probably killed a lot of linguists all on its own...)

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brielle128 , on Thursday, 19th June:

Sorry. Ridonculous if my word staple. I use it when it really calls for it.

In some situations, that is the only absurd word that fits.

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brielle128 , on Thursday, 19th June:

Slacks. I flucking hate the word slacks. And blouse. Who in their right mind invented that word? It just drive me insane. It does.

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turk182 , on Friday, 20th June:

fuck grammar

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Intention , on Friday, 20th June:

<3 for ridonculous chillaxin'

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turk182 , on Saturday, 21st June:

:( lol :D

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