centre of the universe - the dreaming: Local septic tank owner

09/06/2008: "Local septic tank owner" I was tempted, today, to carry on a long conversation with the automated message and dialer that advertises services for local septic tank owners, even though I do not own a septic tank, and the message was pre-recorded. I wanted to ask, "so, how's the septic tank service industry doing? Getting lots of business?"
And it would answer, "Please press 3 if you'd like to schedule regular maintenance on your septic tank."
And I would say, "I feel like you don't hear me when I'm speaking to you."
And it would reply, "If you'd like to speak to a customer service representative, please press 7."
And I would say, "It seems that you would rather communicate through a third, and therefore, unbiased party. I suppose I understand that."
And it would tell me, "You haven't answered. Here is the menu again..."
To which I would reply, "That's a 'you' statement. I feel defensive when you use 'you' statements."
And it would say, "Sorry, your response is unrecognised. Please select from the following eight options:"
And I would say, "Only eight? My response is unrecognised, I fear, because no one is listening to my words!"
And it would tell me, "Sorry you're having difficulty. Goodbye."
And I would stand there with the phone cradle in my hand, staring out the window at the grey, grey sky, and I would take a deep breath and know it was inevitable. The relationship couldn't last. After all, it was a recorded septic tank service message and I'm a happily married cenobyte with fabulous kids and stupid cats. But still, it's never easy when you're not the one doing the leaving.

"Les diologues" "Ich Will"

1 Comment

Coyote , on Saturday, 6th September:

*sniffles a bit*

Thanks Ceno. I needed that. You're the best.

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