centre of the universe - the dreaming: A Letter I Had to Write Today

09/15/2008: "A Letter I Had to Write Today" Dear Miz Teacher:

Please allow The Captain to take chapter books out of the library. He would like to read Eragon, as there is a new movie coming out soon. He said his grade is restricted to two- or three-chapter books. Please find enclosed the novel study he completed last year for Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. I can tell you he has read the first three novels in that series, as well as the Narnia series (with the exception of the Final Battle), the Hobbit, and all of the Secrets of Droon books in your school library. In fact, his grade two teacher asked him not to take out any more Secrets of Droon books because they were, she said "too easy for him".

I respect your judgment as his teacher, and am responding to his frustration with library time. Please call me if there are any questions.

Yours,
cenobyte

Because, you see, when I was in kindergarten and in grade one, my teachers and my librarian did not believe I was able to read the books I said I was. Nor did they think my best friend Sarah was capable of it. We were restricted to "Boom! Goes the cannon! Smash! Goes the boat!" (It was a story about pirates that had an incredibly funny page with a pirate getting blown to smithereens). In fact, I remember reading William Steig's C D B in kindergarten and finding it incredibly quirky. Okay, I didn't use the word 'quirky' in kindergarten. I think I said "quaint". No, really. I'm pretty sure I just said "neat" like the other kids.

Anyway, it was terribly nerve-wracking to have your teacher tell you to your face that you are lying about an ability you're fairly confident you can prove that you have, regardless of when "reading try-outs" are.

So I wrote the letter. On Star Trek notepaper, of which each sheet folds up individually into its own envelope. I realise that was probably too much, and now The Captain's teacher is expecting, on parent-teacher interviews, the comic-book-store guy from Simpsons, and a protracted and painful discussion about how, on planet Xirthion, in the second season of the Dr. Who/Star Trek crossover called "Dr. Escalator", the children in grade three who were subjected to extreme testing all turned out republican or something. Worse yet, going to the parent-teacher interviews with a light sabre holstered at my side and saying things like "these are not the grades you're looking for". Hopefully, she'll be pleasantly surprised that The Captain's mum has hair not dissimilar from Sideshow Bob, and brings a d20 to the interviews to roll a charisma modifier, to try to make sure she doesn't insult the teachers.

That's not so bad, is it?

"Boom de ada" "Let the Voting Commence."

20 Comments

platypusnboots , on Monday, 15th September:

In grade 4 the teacher placed a reading restriction on me and told outright that she didn't believe I could read the books I was signing out. Apparently farm kids are supposed to have lower IQs than town kids. I resorted to stealing library books or signing them out when the secretary was covering for the librarian.
This resulted in some great life lessons about authority figures and subversion of the system.
And a personal view that books should not be discriminated against based on reading level or reader age. Unfortunately the "written materials rights" activism is still stuck at fighting against book burnings to focus on loftier goals of universal rights for books.

rilla , on Monday, 15th September:

I *heart* the Star Trek paper. Please send more.

Kovbasa , on Monday, 15th September:

That's very interesting. I remember a few books when I was in school being restricted due to content (you could only check them out if you had a note from your parents), but I'd never heard of them being restricted just because they were deemed too difficult to read for a certain age. Bizarre. Do they actually fear an epidemic of children borrowing books that they can't understand?

cenobyte , on Monday, 15th September:

Kovbasa - I don't know, but if they are, you'd think they'd remove every reference to Bratz and Barbies if they were, because I sure as hell don't understand those books.

I think the deal is that they don't want kids taking books out that are so far above their reading level that they might have the book out all year? Or maybe the teacher just wants to have the reading level assessed so that they know? Or maybe my kid secretly didn't return a book and now is retricted to early reader dreck? Or maybe, just maybe, they think he's bragging and is just taking books out to burn them secretly out behind the school at dusk.

melistress , on Monday, 15th September:

I can't even tell you how much I hate that you had to write that. I am seething! Why is it that when a child is interested in more advanced reading that they are DISCOURAGED?! The entire of the library should be open to any child who sees fit to read the books within it.

cenobyte , on Monday, 15th September:

m: Meh. I figure it's because they just haven't had the chance yet to assess each child's reading ability. Last year, he was able to take out whatever he wanted, so I think this might be more of a "let's see where you are" thing. It only bothered me because he was frustrated with his library time, and he loved it so much last year.

Coyote , on Monday, 15th September:

*Smarmy Richard Dawson voice*
What is the worst part of our education system that bleeds into every facet of our society....

Hey there little darlin', so your name is Barbie hmmm. That's nice... Oh and thanks for the kiss, but next time less tongue.

*forced crowd laughter*

Alright Barbie, so what's your guess?

*Barbie thinks hard, smoke appears, and she finally says: Catering to the lowest common denominator?*

That's a good guess honey. *turns to the big board up high behind the middle podium* Let's see LCD!

*DING!*

Wow, that's 98 points, and in top spot, Lowest Common Denominator.

*Back to normal mode*

If you don't get the references, then you're not old enough to remember the original Family Feud. And this is my biggest complaint with the education system, always playing to the lowest common denominator.

Hate it.

Smarty Pants , on Monday, 15th September:

Agree completely with Coyote and Melistress.
Why be curious and desire to excel and know *more* things when all you have to do is be / think "just like everybody else"?
As a 5th grader, I signed out and read "The Illiad". Obviously I missed the finer points of the poem - I just wanted to read about guys killing the hell out of each other with swords. BUT it served a purpose in the higher grades when we took Greek Mythology and all that - I was already somewhat familiar with the material. Same with Western Euro history - my dad was a freak for it, and I spent HOURS reading and paging through his books. High School History was a piece of cake as a result.
IF A KID WANTS TO READ, LET THEM READ!!

senatorhung , on Tuesday, 16th September:

as someone with a library background, i think the teacher should be given a stern shushing ! methinks a copy of 'enders game' might be appropriate, especially since OSC is releasing a sequel in the next month or so.

Parmeisan , on Tuesday, 16th September:

... Another sequel? Are you saying a sequel to "Ender's Game", or a sequel to the series that he wrote as sequel to it? I thought the previous book in that series was supposed to be the last?

Um. I'm very confused and I guess I'll be looking that up.

(OK, I just looked it up, for anyone who cares, and what he's writing is meant to be a prequel to Speaker for the Dead, which up to this point in time has served, at least in my mind, as the second of the Ender series. I guess it's the third now. (I have always counted the Shadow books as something else entirely.))

Anyway, I was gonna say: Not that it would make it right, but my guess is that perhaps they think if the kid (obviously!) can't read the book, s/he is probably lending it to somebody else, and the school library is not meant for the general enjoyment of the kid's parents, siblings, friends-not-at-the-school, et cetera.

Coyote , on Tuesday, 16th September:

Who was the short kid who came in and was almost better than Ender? He had his own book too that OSC wrote, that ran concurrent to Ender's Game.

Smarty Pants , on Tuesday, 16th September:

Bean?

Coyote , on Tuesday, 16th September:

That's his name! BEAN!! Yah. That was a good book too.

cenobyte , on Tuesday, 16th September:

*whispers*
It's "concurrent with".

Coyote , on Tuesday, 16th September:

It's not much of a whisper if you POST IT AS A COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG!

But yah, it's with.

Jerk.

Der Kaptin , on Wednesday, 17th September:

I'd like to suggest that part of the reading restriction comes from "discipline chill", in the sense that there have been too many parents itching to cause trouble for teachers/librarians, either because this is their pathetic "challenging of authority", or because they are natural-born floggers who just don't feel like they are doing their share of the lord's work unless they are making someone else afraid. Who can predict when some parent is going to come screaming down the hall about how dare you allow innocent little Captain be exposed to material that, while it may very well be fine and recognized work, is not age-appropriate and therefore beyond his capabilities to properly contextualize? Who can risk impressionable young minds being traumatised by metaphor that they simply can't digest? (But then, I didn't read Jude the Obscure until I was nearly 20, and I'm STILL traumatized). No, the simplest thing is to play it safe and stick to what the school board in its employerly wisdom has deigned to provide as guidelines. And if some geeksquad parents want their little prodigies to be riffling through Clockwork Orange or Joyce's Ulysses instead of consuming Barney the Dinosaur, well, let them see to it in the comfort and non-litigatable safety (for the professional) of their own sanctioned abode. I'm not condoning, by any means, I read Jean Val Jean at 7, and suffered under the world view there until Jude came along. Just explaining how a person with a fresh new mortgage and/or student loan repayment bill might be bringing other considerations to bear than the oppression of one specific kid.

For the parents of these early readers, I would suggest that they also give themselves the mission of encouraging their kids to reread some of the same books again, ten or fifteen years later, just to demonstrate how their evolving life experience and comprehension will change, or add to, their engagement with a particular work. Fascinating. I might even lock away all the sharp objects and turn again to Hardy...nah, not when there are fresh new hells to explore.

cenobyte , on Wednesday, 17th September:

I wondered that, too, DK.

Normally, I would have told The Captain just to be patient with his teacher and to try to find something more his speed in the books he *is* allowed to read, or to take a book from home to read during library time. Actually, I probably really ought to have stressed that last one. What bothered me is how despondent he was about library time (when he loved it last year), and I know my Captain well enough to know that despondency breeds spitballs. If you get my drift.

I think you should *totally* challenge yourself to re-reading Heller, actually. We could do a book club. You and me and Catch-22. I still don't quite get how that book ruined your life. You'll have to use smaller words when we talk about it next time.

Coyote , on Wednesday, 17th September:

Actually that's another one I haven't read.

Oh so many things to read and I already spend 80% of my waking hours reading.

On a related topic, my J.K. Rowling class has an optional 'creative' component related to fanfic. I was pondering doing a stream of consciousness bit that runs concurrent WITH (thank you Ceno:) Lupin's transformation in Prisoner of Azkaban when they've just re-emerged from the Whomping Willow after capturing Peter Pettigrew.

Thoughts?

Neo , on Friday, 19th September:

i think it's apalling that instead of embracing somebody who WANTS to excel, they are being forced to "dummy down" to stay on par with everybody else. i agree with Smarty Pants. if a kid wants to read....LET THEM!!!!

Der Kaptin , on Friday, 19th September:

"Life's a Bitch for the Eternal Fatalist" -- Lowest of the Low

Actually, dear poet, that should, aurally, be "me and you and Catch 22", not? If that isn't too Lobo for you.

CDB -- Your comment is mind-warping in a fascinating way -- in prev. post, I was soughing about Thomas Hardy and Jude the Obscure. However, since you've already strained through many of the tea leaves of my mind, you've noticed Heller in there, joyned at the hip with Sir Thomas Killjoy. However, it was Something Happened that wrapped its triffidian fingers around my vitals, not the more popular C-22.

Not that I wouldn't do the book club thing at the drop of a ribbon bookmark, on any text we could agree on. Just please don't ask for dwarves.

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