04 December 2008

When's a Llama not a llama?

When it's a duck.


Now that that's over with, and my day is made, there's also the gender analyzer. It believes cenobyte is a dude. Dude! Dude. Granted, it's only 68% sure of that.

Didja watch the news last night? Didja watch the political leaders talking about why you should be very afraid of the separatists or the Tories, depending on who was talking? I did. I was glued to the television. And you know what I thought?

First, I thought it was odd that Stephen Harper chose to deliver his paranoia-inducing blathering from Casey's treehouse. Second, it was unfortunate that Stephane Dion was forced to film his speech in the rumpus room. What really struck me last night was how different these things are in our country. In the States, f'rinstance, they have a room that's dedicated just to press conferences. It's all blue curtains and wired for sound and kinda made for someone to film the president (or the president-elect...how does that work now, is Barack Obama living in the suite over the garage until Mister Gee moves out?). But in Canada, you're lucky if you get a zero-white balance from the camera guy before the shoot starts. In fact, I'm pretty sure if Batman Jack wanted his address to have been filmed in the loo, his cameraman would have been all too happy to comply.

On to the meat of the issue.

There should be no surprises, after I've outed myself as a pinko socialist (actually, I'm far more red than pink; if you thought the epithet 'pinko' would insult me because it implies that I'm a bit of a leftard, you've sorely missed your mark. The epithet 'pinko' insults me because most of the 'pinkos' I know are far too right-wing), that I was more or less disgusted with what Stephen Harper said, which was a whole bunch of nothing. Not only does the guy not know his Canadian history (or possibly he just conveniently forgot that this is not the "only time in Canadian history" that the opposition party has attempted to form government), but he sat in his Smug Spot and tried to convince Canadians that if the opposition forms government, it will be the End of Canada As We Know It (with all due respect to R.E.M....since Canada's copyright laws are so wonky, I'm not sure if I should be concerned that Michael Stipe is going to come after me with a war baguette or if I should be concerned that absolutely nothing is going to happen). There was nothing in his address that made me say "you know what? I hadn't thought of that. Hmmm." Nothing that would make me even think about considering changing my mind that the possibility of the Tories being ousted is even remotely a Bad Thing. Not one single thing that cast doubt upon the idea that his losing his jaerb is what this country needs. In fact, when he was going on and on about how allowing SEPARATISTS to participate in a coalition government would certainly be the undoing of our nation, I started to laugh. Because he certainly didn't feel that way any of the numerous times he used the Bloc's voting power in parliament to shore up his own agenda. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Stephane Dion's address...well...he obviously looked uncomfortable (which made me wonder, Stephane, why did you choose politics? You kind of always seem to be the guy whose underpants are just a shade too tight). He said what I expected him to say. I wish the network I was watching would have aired the french version of both addresses. He mentioned how Harper and his Tories have steadfastly refused to address the economic crisis looming over our country. He made some promises I don't know if he can keep, and he referred to Stephen Harper in much the same way as many have; calling to question his refusal to actually co-operate with anyone and his insistence in basically being a parliamentary bully whose attempts to squeeze everything he can get out of the parliamentary system are finally coming back to kick him in the arse.

Okay, Stephane Dion didn't say arse. Well, not intentionally. I think he was trying to say something else.

A good friend of mine wrote to me and said, "you don't seriously support the coalition, do you?" And I wrote back with an expression of glee over the sheer anarchy on Parliament hill right now. And he replied with concerns because of what the federal Liberals are doing in Alberta (which is where he lives) and how a handful of his friends had all lost their jobs, and how he fears for his own job. You know what I wrote back? Because I understand that political flux is causing change. I said something like, "I understand why that freaks you out. If there *isn't* a change in government, I'll probably lose *my* job."

There's always going to be oil production. We're living in a resource-based economy. Even if he lost his job (he's an engineer) with the company he's with, I'm *fairly* certain he could find something else. As could I. But it's much, much more difficult when the only people who have respect for the letters after your name are the ones who believe that quality is more important than quantity.

Wow. Got siderailed there. Anyway. If you didn't see the political leaders address the nation, you should go to your Googles and let them do the finding. Then you can do the watching.

Oh. And I'd like to invite you to go read James Laxer's post on the topic. Laxer is an economist and professor of Political Science at York University (thanks to Elder Gamer for the link).

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03 December 2008

Parliamentary Shenanigans

So now, the Tories are suspending Parliament and are running a bunch of ads about the SOCIALIST THREAT and SEPARATISTS TRYING TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT in an attempt to convince Canadians about something. A delay tactic which shows their cards.

I don't know why everyone is in such a tizzy about this. Non-confidence motions and the ability to change the ruling party of government without an election is a tenet of parliamentary democracy. It's what happens when the majority of elected officials feel that the ruling party isn't doing their job properly, and it's a Good Thing. It's why we don't have to put up with folks like George W. Bush for four years at a time. Another nice aspect of parliamentarianism is that an election can be called any time. In fact, in 1974 Trudeau forced an election by introducing a confidence motion with his minority government's budget. He was pretty confident he'd win the resulting election, which he did.

Stephen Harper himself proposed a coalition government with the Bloc Quebecois in 2004, so why are so many people running around, tearing out their hair and gnashing their teeth about the SEPARATIST THREAT? Stephen Harper would have been all too happy in 2004 to OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT in partnership with the Bloc and/or anyone else he could find.

Now, it's fairly common knowledge that cenobyte is a bit of a rabble rouser. A bit of a rebel, if you will. Somewhat of a low-key anarchist. Part of my utter giddiness over everything that's happening in the Canadian parliament is just the sheer disorder of it all. I *love* watching Conservative MPs spit vitriolic epithets at the press about the UNDEMOCRATIC SEPARATIST COUP. I love watching Bloc MPs, calm and collected, discussing why replacing the current government is what's best for Canada - not what's best for Quebec, but what's best for Canada. I love hearing Stephane Dion say "Canadians elected 308 members of Parliament in October, not just Stephen Harper". I love watching the slow boil of panic on Parliament Hill.

I don't know what it is. Canada is not a country born of rebellion and war; we've always been a somewhat conciliatory place. Louis Riel stirred things up with his Resistance, and the FLQ. But really, it's not a country that does "things like that". You know, Good Countries Don't.

Check out the Yarn Harlot for a good explanation of how all this works (thanks to Melistress for the link): www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/archives/2008/12/03/what_is_happening_in_canada.html

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02 December 2008

Bloodless Coup! Bloodless Coup!

Forgive my sick fascination with what's happening in our government. On 8th December, our Governor General will have to decide whether Canadians are going back to the polls mere weeks after the last farce of an election, or whether she's going to allow A SOCIALIST COUP OF OUR NEO-FASCIST GOVERNMENT!!!

You know what? It was really, *really* fun to write that. I mean, I don't know that I actually believe that our current government is neo-fascist...or even pico-fascist. In fact, I don't think the Conservatives are fascists at all. I think Stephen Harper is a totalitarian control freak, but, you know, I didn't vote for him or for any of his lackeys.

And you know what else? I've been watching CPAC (yes, I've been watching CPAC), and I just heard an MP say something about how terrible the "Socialist coalition" is. This is nearly as bad as Jerry Springer. Seriously. I'm waiting for Jack Layton to throw a chair at Stephen Harper, and Stephane Dion to cower and scream like a schoolgirl. I just heard another Conservative MP from Alberta refer to the coalition as a 'banana republic', which is HILARIOUS. From Wikipedia:
Banana Republic is a pejorative term for a small country that is politically unstable, dependent on limited agriculture, and ruled by a small, self-elected, wealthy, and corrupt clique.
That pretty much sounds like what we have right now. And has nothing to do with the SOCIALIST THREAT. I'm randomly using all-caps because you should fear socialists. You should fear us like you fear toe fungus and sudden attacks of uncontrollable vomiting. You should fear us because we want to tear down your economic stability and take your money away from you so that we can give it to people who don't deserve it as much as you do because they have mental illness, social challenges, and/or historical inequity.

You should fear socialists because we're all clinically insane. We're all also of substandard intelligence because we simply don't *understand* the *reality* of how federal economics *really work*. And we don't understand human nature.

You should fear me, in particular, because I am a socialist. I want to restrict, nay, take away your freedom. I want to regulate every aspect of your life I want to harm your children by allowing them to be exposed to equal rights for all Canadians, regardless of the shape of their dangly bits, the shade of their skin, or the functionality of their minds. And you know what happens when people go crazy? They all turn into socialists and start typing randomly in all caps.

So many people are whining because the SOCIALIST COUP of the federal government is UNDEMOCRATIC and DANGEROUS because it involves co-operation with PINKOS, LOSERS, and SEPARATISTS. Because "well, *I* didn't vote for any of those three assholes". Well, you know what? The majority of the tiny majority of Canadians who voted in the last farce of an election that was (debatably) illegally called by a fellow who broke several of his own campaign promises immediately after taking office did not vote for the assholes currently in power. The fact of the matter is that what's happening now is the right of the opposition parties. It is a function of the parliamentary system. It is the right of the people who HAVE been elected by the majority of Canadians.

And I'm so damned happy it's happening. It's a bloody shame it had to happen over political parties getting funding from the federal government and not over something more important, but I'm really glad the straw has broken the camel's back. Because really, you should only allow someone to beat the crap out of you for so long before you take a stand.

I also think it's unfortunate that it's not Batman Jack who's going to be our interim Prime Minister, since I think he's better able to handle it than Stephane Dion. However, I have a little something for Monsieur Dion and Batman Jack:

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01 December 2008

Seriously, Grits? Seriously?

So....let me get this straight.

You wouldn't stand up for the people of Canada when the government was talking about taking money away from programs that make life better for everyone in the country. And you wouldn't stand up for the people of Canada when the government was talking about cutting funding for the national food inspection agency. And you wouldn't stand up for Canada when the government decided to take money away from a newly-emerging economic powerhouse. But you'll stand up for the "people of Canada" when the government decides to take money away from you?

That's classy, Grits. That's REAL classy.

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